Nothing Is The Same: Can Drake Save Hip-Hop?

In the beginning rap was synonymous with a boom-boxes, light-post and a backpack. It’s existence beautifully begotten out of the imagination of disenfranchised youth and repressed, urban poets. For over 25 years, hip-hop has boastfully represented itself as the defining flash point of our time. It has expanded to levels incomprehensible, all the while turning in the back-packs for AK-47's and Colombian connections.

With the help of Steven Tyler and Run D.M.C, hip-hop gracefully replaced rock-n-roll as America’s music. It has united Italian couture and urban style as American culture and continues to define the present generation of selfies. Hip-Hop is larger than ever! But just like iconic American symbols such as the automobile, baseball and war, Hip-hop - on the verge of authentic bankruptcy - found its unlikely saviors abroad.

Nothing Was The Same, the third studio album by Jewish/ Canadian rapper, Aubrey “Drake” Graham, is another testament to the influences of American institution on the world stage and how those who are influenced pay homage with furtherance through innovation. It is his first official project of his OVO sound team. The album is primarily produced by fellow child actor-turned recording artist Noah “40” Shebib. Collaborators on the album include Jhene’Aiko, Sampha and the legendary Jay-Z.

Nothing is Drake’s attempt to “LeBron James” the rap game. Like LeBron, Drake plays the game his own way refusing to succumb to the stereotypes of what a rap artist should appear to be. His quest is for the “perfect game”- the beautiful game” of inclusivity and ingenious authenticity. Drake dispels these stereotypes of a “real” rapper being a thug or legendary street hustler on Wu-Tang Forever:  "I find peace knowing that it’s harder in the streets/I know, luckily I didn’t have to grow there/ I would only go there cause there’s niggas that I know there".

Drake, 26, has abandoned the self-loathing and uncertainty about his legacy in Take Care and puts all his true feelings about his current supremacy on the table with lines like: “Shit, niggas still playing my old shit/ But your shit is like the police asking us questions/ Nigga, we don’t know shit/ Flex, nigga I’m just flexing/ Nigga never loved us” on Worst Behavior. He even has a poignant moment of humble honesty when he comparing himself to Lil Wayne when he declares he is “just as famous as my mentor/ But, that’s still the boss/ Don’t get sent for” on Tuscan Leather.

But Drake’s influence goes deeper than rap. His music is risky, humanistic and honest. Unlike the bravado of murder and larceny expounded on by every wanna-be in the game, Drake dives head first into the most taboo and controversial subject matter of the male psyche: Love. Unlike most hip-hop artist, Drake is not professing to be a pimp or a super-player, but like most young men, he embodies a vulnerability and complexity between matters of the heart and manners of the streets. He speaks to the paradigm of youthful masculinity on Furthest Thing: "Somewhere between I'm sober and I'm lifted /Somewhere between a mistress and commitment".

Tracks like Come Thru and 305 To My City peel back the layers on the male-female relationship. Come serves as a anthem to off and on relationships that sometimes span years, while 305 is the most serious song to date on the revelation of compassion for the motives of the opposite sex even if those motives and tendencies leave much to be desired. Drake eloquently allows his homies a glimpse into understanding the modus operandi of the young female by continuously declaring: "I get it! I get it!"

Hip-Hop has been over saturated with misogyny and felony. It's ripple effects are felt throughout every neighborhood and city. The influence of this miseducation is too obvious. It reeks on the breathe of Drake's haters who say: "He is not hard enough" or "He is not real". The encapsulation of those of the pseudo-urban male example are the ones who have been denied there realness. No rapper is more real than Drake because he never hides who is was like Rick Ross. Instead, if those haters would be honest, they could trace their deviant behavior back to broken-hearts and their hostility to a longing to be loved and accepted.

Drake's offering is a profile in expansion of the hip-hop world with melodic dark beats that would impress MF Doom and New York inspired battle raps like his response to Kendrick Lamar on Language. However,  more homage is required if you ever use the words "Wu-Tang" in any rhyme or title. The interpersonal narratives of the club sub-culture is an obvious examples of his strong Southern rap-style influence and the braggadocio of wealth and status add the necessary "street cred" to rival his peers. But, Drake stands out, even from his gangster-founded label Cash Money, so much so that he could be considered the most influential artist in that camp. Yet, Drake stays true and if he doesn't go all Tupac and venture to far from his core ideology, he may be able to rival Jay-Z for greatness and longevity.

Mr. President, It's Time to Help Your People

Dear President Obama,


Now, that you have settled into your second and final term, we the (Black) People of the United States are putting forth some demands. Since you are a child of the Civil Rights movement, it is imperative that you strongly consider the very people and events that have placed you in the highest office of the free world. Those brave and gallant men and women chose not appeasement and tolerance of the ungodly, but determined and unwavering faith in human justice and God's law. We understand the trials associated with your position as America's first African-American president. We have held our peace since your first term when the once dormant virus of racism and sexism reinfected this country with blatant attacks on you, your family and our people. We understand completely the bully that is America's racist culture. We recognize it's propensity to lash out venomously. We stand by apathetic as it effortlessly transforming itself into the role of victim at the slightest hint of righteous resistance. We remain respectful as they declare you the "racist" and the "socialist". We hold our tongues. We proudly stand in long lines baking in the sun to cast our ballots. We have done it twice! We've been patience. We have done our part. We have REPRESENTED!!

But, Mr. President, it's time for you to do your part. You were crowned our Prince and a we confessed and demonstrated our undying loyalty. We have demonstrated our love countless times even denouncing the criticisms of our more consistent and stalwart leaders. We have made too many excuses for you! The truth is we elected you because you were smart and strong and compassionate. But, as importantly, we elected you because you were Black!! You are one of us. We elected who we perceived to be our peer, our brother or shining example. And frankly, your safety doesn't rest with the Secret Service. No sir! Your safety rest with the bully knowing that if he were to harm you that he would bring total destruction on his head. That we would collapse his social system, his justice system and his financial system. So, Mr President, it's time for you to do your part!

We applauded the Lilly Ledbetter Bill for women's financial justice, we held our religious views in private when you advocated same-sex marriage. We accepted the need to allow amnesty for our immigrant brothers and sisters, despite consciously knowing it could add more strain socially and competition financially to our own fragile progress. We supported your hawkish foreign policy even though you haven't done enough for our people in Darfur.We reasoned that you had to portray a solid image of a bipartisan and that you had to clean up the mess of Bush's wars and financial policies for deregulation. But, Mr President, this is your last term and we are cautious about the possibility of electing a second Black president. It is time for you to do your part! We hunger not for retaliation, but exoneration from the crime of being Black in America. We hold you accountable and we demand all that is righteous and acceptable. The needs are innumerable, but the demands are reasonable. It's time to help your people!!

From this day forth and until you act on our behalf we the (Black) People of the United States shall hold your legacy hostage and your feet to the fire.

Here is a list detailing a few examples of our demands:

1) Put the KKK on the watch list of domestic terrorist: Guantanamo Bay is better suited for these the original terrorist of America. How can you kill, steal, rape and pillage a race of people for over 100 years in this country and not be on the terrorist list. These people are our Al-Qaeda!

2) Try George Zimmerman for Civil Rights violations: Why is it when a non-Black goes to court they get all this due process? You don't have to win legally, but we do want to win morally! I am the father of two "Trayvons" and how can I look them in the eye and tell them not to STAND THEIR GROUND when some creepy guy follows them on a rainy dark night. They should be applauded for their courage not exploited by a cheap law! By the way "STATE'S RIGHT" to Black folks is code word for "SLAVERY"!!

3) Address the plight of African-American: Since you have been in office Chicago, alone, is on fire with black violence. 500 murders in a year is unacceptable!!! We need you to make a speech. Prime time! Call us to arms, lead a rally and challenge us! We need you to create legislation to better serve the disadvantages, needs and talents of Black men, women and children in America.What makes us better will ultimately make America better. And if anyone says you are being racial or preferential to Blacks, just tell em: "Hell yeah! And?"

4) Bump Jay-Z! Work with Professor Cornell West, Professor Micheal Eric Dyson and Al Sharpton: Republican media may hate them, but that just means we love them more. They are the leaders of our community and the champions of our cause. The are even real enough to stand up and call you to the mat on your foolishness! Now that's a real allies do! That Oval Office is a cesspool of yes-men in a no-holds-barred time. Come out into the light, but ask them for assistance to help guide you back to what's really going on in the "hood"!!

American Heroes: Professor Cornell West and Dr. Michael Eric Dyson

5) Stop appeasing the oppressor: You can bend over backwards for these "people", but they aren't gonna like you! They are the masters of spinning the truth and they have a few Uncle Toms like Reverend Jesse Lee Petersen (who is going to Hell) and Herman Cain. They even got the biggest sell-out (Clarence Thomas) on the Supreme Court dismantling every legislative victory we have had in the last 50 years. They don't need any help from "our" President. Not fair. Not balanced. Get it together and stick it to em'!!

6) Be harder on Black on Black crime: We need some of those drones in some of these projects. We demand you come into the urban neighborhoods and dismantle the drug trade and gun trafficking. We have to eliminate the bad seeds before we can enjoy our good fruits. We have to protect our people and our image from some of our own people! Hand down federal mandatory minimums for Black on Black murder. If we don't honor Black life, no one ever will and the Trayvon Martins of this country will never get justice because they will never be valued.

7) Put God in front: We are so tired of the same people who used the Word of God to beat us into chains, using the Word to beat us into submission. You are a Christian and an intellect. People like George Zimmerman should not be able to say it was "God's will" to stalk and kill a child. And Pat Robertson should not be allowed to get away with saying the Haitian earthquake derived from "a pact with Satan". What would you call 911 then? God doesn't like ugly! But he doesn't accept fear either. Stand up for Christians who know that God is a God of love and tolerance and compassion. They don't represent the truth about us. Stop letting them destroy this country and the true Founder of America and the world!


P.S. We love you. Kiss Michelle and the girls for us. Say your prayers. And get your mind right!!



Sincerely Yours,

The People

A Tribute to Momma

Cassaundra "Sissy" Barnes

 "There are times to think in legality and politics,

          but there are very few times to live privately by them."

When I was two years old my "momma" rescued me. I was living in Alabama with my teenage uncle and grandmother. My biological mother was not around. I had been placed in the hospital due to my uncle's juvenile activity. He was very happy to have me around as he was the youngest and only male child. Pictures of me in a crib clutching a vodka bottle revealed just how happy he was with my company. So happy, in fact, that he and his cohorts, got a thrill out of blowing marijuana in my face as an infant and watching me crawl backwards on the floor. When she found out, my "momma", who hadn't met me yet, was irate and demanded my father head down South and bring me to her care. Again, my biological mother was not around.

My father had just been honorably discharged from the U.S. Army when he met a beautiful, single mother in Indianapolis, He took a job as a postman and she was a customer on his route. She was tall and fun and had a great smile and a very cute 5 year old daughter. They started dating and got married. My father and birth mother divorced before I was born. Though my father never talked much about my birth mother, he did tell me that their divorce stemmed from her having a daughter that she didn't want to raise and the fear that she would get pregnant and do the same to his child. He was right on all accounts.

But this is a tribute to a "MOMMA" not a mother. There are times to think in legality and politics, but there are very few times to live privately by them. Anyone can be a "mother" or a "father". Those titles grace the birth certificates of most all Americans. However, when applied to life, these titles must evolve from semantic terms to romantic organisms. To survive, they must reside in the realms of love and care and mercy and honor and forgiveness and history. To the political or the corporate these romantic titles appear watered down and colloquial. But, to the soul who is blessed to call upon these titleholders, the words "Momma" and "Daddy" are as sweet and endearing as the Lord Jesus Christ himself. 

I was blessed the day I arrived in Indianapolis to be cared for by an organic mother. I was blessed to have a momma! My momma taught me innumerable things about life and I retained a significant amount of what she taught. Her teachings and examples have help form my philosophy. We both share a socially eclectic personality, though I am not as carefree and friendly. We both are prideful, hard-working, fiercely independent and self-reliant. Moreover, we don't "ask" for things, we politely "demand" them. She more polite than me. We feel that if we have to ask you then you already owe it to us seven-fold and this is a great opportunity for you to equally contribute to the relationship. We also share a knack for heroism and being assertive to the task at hand. She rescued me from drowning when I was ten, despite the fact she could not swim. I saved my son from being hit by a car.

My momma taught me a lot about women and dating. What she taught me will remain disclosed, but I will say this: What your father doesn't know, your mother should tell you!

More importantly, my momma and I had a deep connection of friendship. She spoke to me about issues in ways that my siblings may not have understood. She spoke candidly about her impending death and insisted that I take up the role of head of the family. I seek to honor all that she entrusted in me. On her death bed, she remained strong, despite knowing that the end was near. This was no surprise to me since she had pushed the envelope the entire decade she was ill. She danced and partied and hit the road every chance she had. Many of those trips ending in the hospital, yet failed to altered her lifestyle or deter her from living life to the fullest.

Time is truly limited for all of us. Time is not to be taken for granted. It moves fast for the distracted, but time has a soft spot for loving memories. It blesses us with long walks and talks. It hangs it hat to sits down to relax for family dinners and outings. If God is Love and time is His, then it's best to use both wisely. It is best to put both together. And if God forbid, you loss a loved one, you have the blessed memory of those special moments. You have time to reminisce.

I have not cried about my momma's passing. It's hard to cry with a heart full of joy and all you see is a smile on the person's face when you reminisce. She lost a son and a mother while she was sick, but she never lost her spirit. She didn't break down and she never bowed out. Sometimes, I viewed her as another one of my sisters. When one of the us kids admonished her from an ill-advised trip or for sneaking sweets at night, she would just give this child-like grin of innocent mischief. Now, I know that it was just determined defiance. Now, I know why I do many of the things I do. And, now, I know why I have stuck it out in Los Angeles so long, despite it not being in my life's plan. Pure determined defiance. The refusal to be beaten by anyone or anything.

I am so grateful for my momma. I am grateful for her love and her energy. I will always cherish the memories of her. Some memories are wonderful like laying with me when I was a sick boy, some memories take me way back like Sunday morning breakfast before church and a few are heart wrenching like our last conversation. I and those who knew and loved her have a lifetime of good memories. Good memories make time stand still.

Please, don't "hurry up and waste time"!! We avoid the hard route and attempt to evade the tough decisions. Besides, when we run from problems and difficulties, time just runs faster. It chases you down like a linebacker and run circles around you like an Olympic sprinter. Time entertains no excuses nor does it hike along the easy highway. Time stands along the bumpy roads and cheer the souls of determined defiance. It immortalizes those who accepted the challenge and who embrace responsibility. Time crowns the strong and upright with Legacy.

I am also grateful that my "mother" sent her condolence via social media. My mother and I have no memories, no inside jokes or photographs to look back on when our lifetime nears its end. This is not because she didn't do well in life. She had no excuse not to be a "momma". No criminal past or drug addiction. Just a law degree for her troubles. She chose to run. Unbeknownst to her and many of us, trying times and unexpected situations are the very things life uses to thrust us further and take us farther.

Perhaps, I will save the smiles of nostalgic joy for my "momma" and cry the tears of  impeding sorrow for my "mother". In her golden years, I pray she lived as well and touched as many people as my beloved momma. But, if avoided obstacles cause peaceful memories to elude her, time will still be there to give account. It will whisper reason and calmly explain: "You were not around".



I love you, momma! May God reward you for your sacrifice, remove all sorrow and pain and allow your soul to rest in peace!

Death of The Barbie Doll Syndrome

No matter if the girls run it, or if it is nothing without a woman or a girl, the world still belongs to men. Let's face it, for all of it's natural splendor and wonderment, the Earth is a cruel place. It has brought down dinosaur and humbled great civilizations. So, it safe to say that a man is the best equip and naturally psychotic enough to take it on. I'm privy to the anthem of independent woman and I respect the movement of girl power, but most women need and want a man.

If you look back into my archives you will see that I am very sentimental to the plight and pursuits of women. I am not here to declare that I totally understand all the inner workings of the female psyche, but I am, at the least, sympathetic. I realize that as a man, I have never worried about locking my doors, the stranger walking behind me on a dark street or the crazy person breathing on my phone at 3 a.m.

Women fight over the wrong guy

I'm a pretty big guy with an intimidating presence, so vulnerability is not a natural instinct of mine. And this sympathy for women grew out of those rare moments when I encounter a guy bigger than myself that caused me to I say; "Wow, that's a big dude!", followed by, "Oh, that must be how the world looks at me"?

The world can be a very frightening place and you need a special someone to help you navigate it. Unfortunately, the people closes to us are the most likely to hurt us. So, when it comes to love, the disappointments can be hard to bear and even harder to heal from. Desire for a family and children run strong in women. As time passes, one may feel the need to press the process along and thus, make relationship blunders. It happens to the best of us.

In the pursuit of a worthy, male counterpart, too many women are falling for, fighting over and crying about the wrong guy. It's gotten really bad and I have my opinions why. I grew up with older sisters that, as little girls, were handed Barbie dolls and, as teens, they were given make-up and clothes. This may be considered great teaching tools for homemaking, but are awful teaching tools for home "shopping". My sisters were taught how to accessories and imagine how their adults life would be. Many women have their Prince Charming already picked out to compliment their wedding dress. It's really cute to watch little girls play house. However, when grown women play house it's not so cute.

I noticed how women's mistakes in their love pursuits mimicked their childhood play. I call it the "Barbie Doll Syndrome". The Barbie Doll Syndrome is a process in which a woman take a man and attempt to make him over to fit the mode and model of what they desire their mate to be. Much like the doll, women favor the potentiality of a man with less regard for his reality.

Most women need and want a man

In the beginning of the process he seems so dangerous and exciting! Traits like these are irresistible to some. Who wants a doll (man) with it all together and nothing to work with, right? That's no fun! I believe many women label these safe and predictable men as "boring" while gravitating to the more exciting and unpredictable work-in-progress types.

Now, it's noble to look at a person for all they could be and to assist them in living out those aspired attributes. However, it's important to make sure those aspirations match up to the person and their true abilities and efforts. It's important that they align with your true attributes and intentions.

Yes, men do change! The reality is that men change because they desire to, not because they a prodded. Further reasoning why your ex is such a cool guy after you broke up with him. Sucks, I know!

To do my part and show love to the ladies. For those of you who are doing it BIG and running the show, but have yet to add that complimentary mate to there impressive resume, these are just a few ways that may help you avoid the Stevie J's of the world and hook yourself a Denzel Washington.


Rule#1 The Best Way To Get Over A Man Is To GET Over Him!

Your hairdresser is a good listener. For the price of a great hairdo therapy should be included. However, she is not clinically certified while your behavior may be feeling clinically certifiable. You are a truly independent, boss chic so, you have to "live that life". Nothing is more distasteful than re-living your pain of a bad break up with a prospective suitor. Getting "under" a new man when you haven't gotten "over" an old one just piles on more problems. Plus, women hate to be compared to other women, so avoid doing the same to your new mate, by completely getting over your old one.

Rule#2 You Read The Lines, You Don't Write the Script...

If all the world is a stage, then you better be a great actress. Know your role and play it well. Let him play out his role, so that you can see if he genuinely have leading man credentials. Too many times, ladies like to write out the whole script! Writing evokes the imagination. Relationships reside in reality. Not a good mix. As a result of trying to write the script, you may have the whole show planned out from start to finish. I'm sure its an Oscar winner in your mind, but it turns into a B-movie when you realize you've casting incorrectly.

Rule#3 Think With Your Head, Not With Your....

Women love to say how men think with their penises. No argument here. The truth is men think with there penises to get laid. Having sex, to most men, has little to do with falling in love. Unfortunately, good sex drives many women bananas and they fall in love, through their sexual relationships.We call it getting "sprung", but its more like "going dumb". If you can't discern the difference, it's best you don't indulge. As a matter of fact, if you really are looking for a husband, save the cookie for dessert. Celibate dating prevents an unnecessary soul tie and makes it a lot easier to see the genuine person, thus making it easier to break it off or know if it's the real deal. Plus, he really will have more respect for you...I know, right?!

Rule#4 You Can Only Learn From Your Mistakes, Not His...

Lets keep it one hundred...Women hate to admit they are wrong. And just because someone does something wrong to you doesn't excuse the fact that your retaliation was equally wrong. So, before stepping back on the dating scene, really evaluate the things you did wrong in the last relationship and grow from it as to not repeat it in the next...men do this much better than women and we take longer to date seriously after a bad relationship. I know that annoys women, but why "hurry up and waste time" when you are not fully ready?..Hint: Too many notches on a women's belt are not hot, unless you're hitting the gym!!

Rule#5 In Love, 1+1=1

There is a saying that love "fills in the negative space with positively everything". Though its waxes poetic, whomever wrote this line was drunk outta their mind! In the mathematics of love, two wholes make a whole. Don't look for anything in your mate that you can't provide for yourself. If you are broken over the past or haven't set yourself on a path to accomplish what you want in life, then stay single. You don't have to be near the finish line, but you have to be in the race. And he better be in the same race with you, too!  Love takes all of you...it should at least give you that much back! AT LEAST! Know your wealth!

WITH SO MANY CHOICES, MEN CAN CHOOSE WRONG

He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from God- Proverbs -18:22

A good woman is easy to find. Most women are inherently good prospects for lasting relationships. Perhaps, it's because of the natural bonds that women share and their sense of family. They readily share information and gather together for girls' nights and conferences and even, the kitchen table at barbecues. They share generations of information about life, love, family and the latest news and recipes. This bond has helps them sustain good traditions and values over the generations.

We men like to categorize all this as just plain gossip. We do ourselves a disservice when we make such blanket statements. These circles that women forge are vital to our society and their personal growth as a whole. It explains the dynamic strides they have made in a world long dominated by the male perspective. Perhaps out of necessity, these alliances between Mother and daughter, sister and friends have survived religious and misogynist persecution. Truth is, male philosophy and rule has done nothing but solidified the bond between women.

Women naturally choose the side of one another

Though "catty" at times among themselves over beauty, outfits and hairstyles, when the lines are drawn between the male and female perspective, woman naturally choose the side of one another. While men are moved by power to commit such despicable acts as murder and racism and heresy, women are peace oriented creatures bound by love and companionship. Throughout history we've see the results of such manic power like slavery, feudalism and segregation be brought down by the defiant love of a woman. Coretta Scott King and Benazir Bhutto are a couple of examples.

I live in Los Angeles and there are plethora of wonderful good-looking women. I prefer Black women, personally, and there are even more good choices in this group. They come in all fascinating shapes, hues and cultures. Some days, just walking down the street is a neck workout in itself. I found my head to be on a perpetual swivel amazed at all their beauty and mannerisms. It had gotten to the point where I, like most men, began to panic as to how I would choose the right one.

They come in all shapes, hues and cultures

I wondered how, with all these great choices, we were all falling "in love with a stripper" or the "botox bandits". Not to degrade a woman for being an exotic dancer, but it speaks to the irony of the matter and the obvious lack of a man's self-worth and moral judgement. I would love to tell you that I chose poorly, but this is not the case. If a man chooses poorly it is not a reflection on the types of available women, but on the type of man he truly is. My bad decisions were based on me just being a bad self evaluator. I had plenty of good choices, but bad decision making skills.

We don't gather like women and pass down pertinent information on manhood. We gather for war deployments and tailgate parties. Most of our time is spent arguing Kobe v. Lebron or lying about who has more women than the other. So, in honor of the gentlemen who have turned the corner of Maturity Street and Future Avenue, seeking good taste and lasting companionship, I decided to list the five best ways to bag a Mechelle Obama and avoid the all too addictive Kim Khardasians.


Rule #1 Make Sure She Has Great Intelligence...
A sea of beautiful women is a wet nightmare! I liken it to having a universal key at a Ferrari dealership. All the Ferraris look hot, so you want to test drive them. The only problem is, only a few of the cars have "great engines". You'll lose interest hooping out of 50 cars before you find the one that lives up to its' billing. Ask the right questions, listen to the answers carefully and avoid the bad test drives. A nice "ride" can help you go much further, much quicker in life... GPS standard.

Rule #2 She Can Make a Dollar out of Fifteen Cents
My dad always told me that a woman's test in life is material and a man's test is a woman. Discover if she is resourceful and thrifty. She shouldn't be a poster child for Goodwill, but they shouldn't know her by name in Bergdoff Goodman either. Nothing like breaking your back for a woman who just has to have the latest and greatest of material things to feel good about herself. Low self-esteem is expensive! This is also a sign of Daddy issues. You should only "play" Daddy in those intimate moments or "be" Daddy to your kids.

Rule #3 Give Rappers The Middle Finger
The only advice worst than a woman's single girlfriend, is the that of your typical MC. They don't have all the girls, they don't take every other rapper's girlfriend or have the biggest Johnson. They aren't married to the super-hot stripper in their videos. Most of the rappers in a relationship are in one with a modestly attractive high school sweet heart, a career woman or the "around the way" girl that made homeboy chase them. Snoop Lion, LL and Ice Cube are some examples, to name a few.

Rule #4 Your Mother Isn't That Hot and You Ain't Either
One of my biggest pet peeves is when my unattractive friends with beer bellies and pathetic social skills, go all Simon Cowell on a girl. Remember, if women were as aesthetically judgmental about us as we are about them, then most of us would be single. Thank God they aren't! So show the man upstairs some gratitude and pick someone with personality, depth and a godly spirit like your mother. She should make sure you are fed, pester you about your health and drag you to church. You'll make a happy family and she'll make you happy. Love is the best beer goggles! It makes everything more beautiful! Plus, it's free and the hangover is awesome. Beauty fades!! Don't believe me? Think about how many of your friends' moms are MILFs....I'll wait.

Rule #5 Don't Look Around, Check Yourself
This is really the first rule. Look at what you have to offer before you go out interviewing prospects. I understand the urge to take a resume or two. Been there, bro! But you gotta take the reins and pull back a bit if you don't possess a good benefits package. Don't give me that crap about "gold diggers". Not buying it!! If your prospects are gold-diggers than you are probably a "Shallow Hal" type dude. If you wanna sign a blue chip women you better have a max contract to offer. That offer doesn't just mean financial. Financial gain is just the result of being hard-working, spiritually ambitious, focused, grounded and insanely committed. If you aren't these things then you better look for a mentor, a college, a church and a better job. If you think it's cool to mooch off a female then you, my friend, have the dreaded Mommy issues! Address that first. It's not what's hot on the streets, right now!